Frustrations

I don't want to do this anymore.

I am tired.

I am hurt.

I am annoyed.

I am lost.

I want things to be different but I fear they never will be.

I am unfocused.

I am unrealistic.

I am sore.

I am weak.

I am unmoving.

I am reaching out for something that may never be.

I am trying.

I am stronger than I think.

I am growing.

I am not alone.

Life's distractions

Life is an abstract and we are writing the body of the paper.

Have you ever thought about life like it was a scientific paper you are trying to publish? It would go something like this:

Introduction/Background (childhood)

Name:
Age:
Sex:
Highest Education Level:
Career:
Life Goals:

Methods (college years and beginning adulthood)

How are you making money?
How are you sustaining you life?
How will marriage and children effect your life?
What are you doing to stay happy?

Results (middle age)

How did you make money?
How did you live?

Discussion (old age to death)

Were you happy?
What advice would you give to others based on your life?

If life were only so easy as to be able to write a paper about it.

But it's not. It's hard and messy and painful and gratifying and terrible and amazing and heartbreaking and filled with joy all at the same time.

I am struggling and I am tired.

Life always seems to get in the way...

So far I have completed very little on my week 1 list for getting myself organized. This saddens me. So I am not allowing myself to move on to week 2 UNTIL I get my week 1 self in order. That is my new goal this week, and I fully intend to stick with everything that is on my list.
Starting something new is the hardest thing because I am super gung-ho about it in the beginning but then I am just sort of..... blaaah.... after the first day or two. Its tough to keep things going and change the routine. Somehow I am going to do it though. I am determined.
Life always seems to get in the way. I know that its not possible to change life and make it not get in the way but I always seem to have a hard time not letting life get me down. That's another reason why I am trying to get myself all organized because then I will be better equipped to handle anything that life throws at me. So I think I will drink my soda and take a shower and let myself relax and then tomorrow I will start anew. :-)

Beginnings are scary...

Recently I painted the walls of my room. I am not finished yet but its a beginning. It feels like a clean slate. I finally feel like I am going to be able to start over.

I bought a book a few months back. Organize, Now! by Jennifer Ford Berry. It is a week-by-week guide to simplify your space and your life. I am trying to use it to figure out a path in life. I want to get to a place where I am confident and comfortable in my own skin and my own life. This book has some really interesting points in it. 

The first section looks at the basics of organization. Berry takes a look at clutter and ways to deal with clutter. She also goes into the psychology of clutter and ways to reduce the amount of clutter that you have in your house. She makes some good points about figuring out the functions of each room in your house and how to rethink spaces that maybe are not being used practically. 

Then Berry goes into the scary part of the book. The week by week planner. She starts off simple, or so I thought. Organize Your Mind. This is where I am right now. I am in week 1 of my, hopefully, life altering book. My goals this week?

1. Get a minimum of 7 hours of sleep per night.
2. Start my day by jotting down a short To Do list of everything to be accomplished that day.
3. Start a journal.
4. Limit the amount of TV watched.
5. Schedule a 2 minute break 2-3 times a day to spend time alone and just be.
6. Practice meditating.
7. Schedule time to exercise.
8. Schedule more "me time".
9. Eliminate energy drainers in my life: clutter, unhealthy relationships, unfinished projects, items on my To Do list that dont need to be done until other tasks are completed.
10. Take control of my time.

Sounds simple enough right? Well stay tuned to find out how well I am doing.